April 19 - Target
Today I got paid for a bunch of art I sold and I realized I was on my last roll of toilet paper. To many, these two facts probably do not seem at all related. However, to me, extra money in my bank account + no toilet paper = one hard truth. A Target run.
As soon as I walked into Target, grabbed my cart, and headed towards where I thought the toilet paper was stashed, I knew I was done for. I was about to be Target-ed. Today’s Target, which is by my new apartment, is not laid out like the Target I frequented by my old house. The toilet paper was, in fact, on the clear other back corner of the store. I had unknowingly walked right into the Target maze, out of which there is no getting out without finding 10 things you didn’t realize you needed.
I sighed and, with a cushioned bank account, accepted my fate.
In a true test of willpower, I walked past all of the clothes and electronics. No, Larkin, you have, quite literally, too many sports bras already. No, Larkin, you do not need a cute new airpods case. I had almost made it to soft drinks when I was caught in my first Target Snare.
Pickleball.
I marched down the sports aisle, ready to drop some serious cash on my new favorite past-time. Imagine my disappointment when all that Target had for me were some dinky tennis racquets and a couple ping pong paddles. I would have to wait for my Pickleball set. As I walked up the next aisle, I stopped in my tracks. I had been complaining just yesterday that I didn’t have anything heavier than 10 pound weights. There’s only so much you can do with 10 pound weights. And wow! Look at these 20 pounders! I checked out the price. Not too bad!
Easily justified by the fact that Target had been out of Pickleball paraphernalia, I grabbed two 20 pound weights and put them into the cart. Thank goodness I’d gotten a cart.
I made it to the toilet paper without too many other snaffoos. (Unless you want to count the candle, lotion, and great smelling soap that happened to make it into my cart.) I pulled up to the cashier and laid out my loot.
As she began scanning my items, I pulled my cart with the weights still in it around to the back of the bagging area and lifted them both onto the metal surface. These might be easier for you to scan from here, I said, gesturing to the weights.
She looked at me. Looked at the weight. Looked back at me. She finally scanned the weight. For you?? She asked, looking me up and down.
For those of you who don’t know what I look like, I am a fair skinned redhead. Which just so happens to be synonymous with ‘shows any emotion through extreme blushing’. In that moment, despite my desperate desire to remain calm, I felt my face start to heat up.
Uhh, yeah. I muttered.
Wowwww, she looked absolutely stricken. But… you so skinny. Big weight!
The woman behind me started laughing and my face continued to redden. Uhh, yeah, haha, it is I suppose. I managed to get out. The woman behind me jumped in - You’ve gotta start somewhere, sweetie! I couldn’t help it. I felt belittled. Mocked. Ridiculed. I had to do something.
My face now the color of a tomato crossed with an eggplant, I gave the woman a quick smile. And then proceeded to make a very big show of lifting both weights dramatically off the bagging stand and back into my cart. When I looked back up, the cashier pinned me with a very wide set of eyes. Very strong. She said. I can do 2. And held up two fingers to make her point.
I laughed and snuck a glance at the woman behind me. Well, you’ve gotta start somewhere.
